i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
