She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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