When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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