Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
