I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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