Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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