He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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