I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
