so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
