If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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