He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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