Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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