My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
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I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
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That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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