well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
