Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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