Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
