Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
