paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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