omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
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My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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