Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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