tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.