Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.