1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Boobs are out for the taking
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts