We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.