Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
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Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
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What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer