just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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