we have officially lost it.
Please, let me fuck your mom
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
