The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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