He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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