Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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