I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
me + whiskey = a bad person
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill