in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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