Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Panties = found
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
