I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
