She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
