Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
