I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
