I hate your face
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
