I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
