I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Another day, another engagement, another cat
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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