all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize