Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
