i jhust puked up my retainher.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
