My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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