We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
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I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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