All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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