You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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