Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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