He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
soo... how was my night?
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