Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
