Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
we're so committed to being not committed
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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