Tell her she can't have a vagina
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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