Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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