Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
