At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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