Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
