So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
