sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
