All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
