I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
