Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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