is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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