i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Less talking, more tequila
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
