I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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