What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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